As part of Samsara’s Pride Month celebrations, the Pride and AAPI ERGs invited Alok Vaid-Menon (they/them) to join us for a fireside chat. Alok is a mixed-media artist who uses poetry, comedy, and performance art to address violence toward trans and gender non-conforming people and call for freedom from the constraints of gender norms. 

I was honored to have been asked to lead the discussion with Alok. l’m a Customer Education Specialist on Samsara’s Customer Outcomes team and a member of our Pride ERG. I proudly identify as genderfluid, which—for those unfamiliar with the term—fits under the non-binary umbrella. Here are my top five takeaways from a conversation that was inspirational, motivating, engaging, and moving. 

1. The only gender rule is that there are no rules. 

“We’ve been taught to attach gender to emotions, fashion, leadership styles, career trajectories,” said Alok. “We’ve disguised social prejudices as biological truths. There’s no template for gender, no box to check, no Scantron sheet to fill out—there’s just you and your soul. Allowing people to choose their gender and follow the rules they’ve set for themselves isn’t a descent into chaos—it’s an ascent to authenticity.” 

“We’ve been taught to attach gender to emotions, fashion, leadership styles, and career trajectories.”

2. The world is in urgent need of compassion. 

“The horrible things people say to me are the same horrible things I used to say to myself,” said Alok. “Behind expressions of hate—whether they’re coming from other people or from ourselves—is the absence of compassion. I feel truly sorry for anyone who hasn’t experienced the transformation that happens when hate and rejection are replaced with love and acceptance.”

3. Everyone benefits from an environment in which people can be their true, authentic selves.

“It’s not your responsibility to dress in a way that makes others comfortable,” said Alok. “It’s the responsibility of the leaders of an organization to promote a culture in which competence isn’t conflated with appearance. Dismantling institutional bias isn’t a minority imperative—it’s a human rights issue, since we are surrounded by people who think they know us better than we know ourselves.” 

4. It’s okay to prioritize safety over principle.

“At one time, I believed I had to present as feminine for people to not see me as a man,” said Alok. “But the more I expressed myself in public, the more I was punished; I was constantly harassed, and it was terrifying. Many trans and nonbinary people put pressure on ourselves to be hyper-visible because we feel like we have something to prove. In retrospect, I wish I hadn’t put myself in harm’s way to make a statement, because I had nothing to prove to anyone. When your physical and mental wellbeing is at stake, it’s okay to step back and let someone else carry the mantle for a while.”

5. It takes proactive, consistent, and concerted effort to create an inclusive organization.

Alok encouraged companies to stay mindful of cultural differences and experiences all year—not just during Pride Month. To integrate inclusivity into the fabric of an organization, they recommended setting short- and long-term goals, creating actionable plans, and committing the funds and resources necessary to implement those plans. “Allyship is committing to community over self,” said Alok.

My thanks to Alok for helping us celebrate Pride at Samsara, and for being part of a conversation we won’t soon forget. Learn more about DEI at Samsara and how you can join us in making the world more efficient, safe, and sustainable.